I REMEMBER THE XFACTOR TOUR DAYS WHEN HARRY AND NIALL LAUGHED AT MY SIGN SLATING iJEVER

give me these days back

CHAPTER 12 IS UP!

CHASING CARS - CHAPTER 12.

Harry’s POV:

 

Zayn finally released me when he was satisfied I wouldn’t go and pull Louis’ head off. I still had my fists clenched and my whole body tensed, but I had stopped shaking. I sat down on one of the bottom bunks.

 

“You ok, man?” Zayn asked.

 

“Yeah.” I replied sharply. Zayn didn’t feel the need to reply instead he just watched me as I attempted to calm myself down.

 

There was a rustle at the curtain and then Louis’ face appeared. He looked at us both sheepishly and hesitated slightly before stepping in and clearing his throat awkwardly. Zayn looked between us both, comprehending whether we were safe to leave together. After a couple more seconds he patted me on the back, then Louis, and left us alone.

 

Louis stared at me for a second before rubbing the back of his neck. I licked my lips as the anticipation got to me. We both knew we needed to have this out. I knew there was more behind this, more was getting to Louis that just what he’d revealed.

 

“Can I sit down?” Louis asked, breaking the silence. I nodded and moved up on the bed. Louis sat down beside me before clearing his throat again.

 

“So why don’t you tell what’s really bothering you, Lou? All of it.” I started. Louis looked down at his lap, obviously knowing he’d been caught out. “Come on, we’re best friends. I can tell when something’s up with you exactly the same way you can with me.

 

“Come on Harry, you know this is risky. You shouldn’t be fucking about with out tour manager.” Louis sighed.

 

“We were being careful! It’s not like it’s been going on for ages. We were just worried that if you didn’t support us, what could’ve happened.” I said quietly.

 

“You know how I feel about it though, Harry. It’s so risky, for Em too. If Simon finds out-”

 

“Simon won’t find out.” I interrupted him. I really didn’t want to hear this anymore. Louis nodded as he seemed to understand.

 

“I just miss my family too.” He sighed. “I know I’m not in a relationship, but I miss seeing my friends and I really like Rihanna. I get to skype her and stuff, but I’m never going to be able to develop any kind of relationship with her until way after the tour and then god knows what else we’ll be doing. It’s all getting to me. I guess I was being childish. I felt like it was unfair that you should have the opportunity that none of the rest of us do.” Louis shrugged.

 

“I miss my family as well, Lou. I really do, but this really won’t go on forever. We should make the most of it, and if Rihanna is worth it, then I’m sure that she won’t mind waiting. I know it probably seems unfair, but I’m asking – I’m begging you to please let me try this with Em. It’s all new to us, being secretive and everything, but I really feel something for her Lou. I’m not saying I think she’s the one or anything, at least not yet, but I haven’t felt this way before.”

 

“Maybe just wait, until the end of the tour? After all, she’s only our tour manager. I just really don’t think you should do this. You’re right, I know I should make the most of this, I’m so lucky. I never thought I would ever come this far, with guys amazing as you. It’s just one of those days, you know?” A frown played on Louis’ lip.

 

“The end of the tour? Lou, I don’t know if I can do that…”

 

“Harry, you know it’s not right. I love you and support you, but don’t fuck about.” Louis looked at me seriously.

 

“We need to see what the others say.” I groaned, running my hands through my curls.

 

“Yeah, but just promise you’ll listen to us. None of this secretive stuff either.”

 

“I promise.” I sighed and stood up.

 

“There’s just this other thing.” He said quietly before shrugging and changing his mind. He forced a smile and tried to get past me.

 

“No Lou, tell me.” I pushed. He sighed, knowing I was stronger than him anyway and took a step back.

 

“There’s been stuff going round on the internet and stuff. You know, about me not really being a good singer or whatever. Do you think I let you guys down? I know I don’t really get solos or anything, and I have nowhere near as many fans as your or Liam. Do you think that I’m not good enough to be in the band?” His voice cracked slightly at the end. I did the only thing my instinct would let me and shook his shoulders hard.

 

“Don’t even think about listening to that wash out of a singer who spends his time telling our fans to die or whatever that sick shit is he does. You’re an amazing singer. It’s not about how many fans we have, every single fan supports you. You get the loudest cheers when you sing your solos because everyone loves you. You’re perfect for this band; you’re what holds this band together. So shut up and never say that again.” I finished with a grin and a light punch on the arm. Louis digested what I said and grinned back at me.

 

“Thanks Haz.” Louis chuckled. “What would I do without you, eh?” He winked and turned back towards the curtain.

 

“What can I say? I should be a therapist or something.” We rejoined the room chuckling at each other and were greeted by curious stares from the others.

 

“Guessing you two made up then?” Zayn laughed before crossing the bus to make himself some toast.

 

“Zayn make me some.” Niall demanded.

 

“Indeed we did. But we all need to talk.” Louis shrugged.

 

“Zayn make me some.” Niall demanded after he didn’t get a reply.

 

“What about?” Liam asked.

 

“ZAYN, MAKE ME-”

 

“ALRIGHT!” Zayn shouted back. Em frowned as she looked between us again, knowing there was more to it.

 

“We need to talk guys, all of us.” I stated. Everyone looked up from what they were doing and gathered round. Louis looked at me and nodded. I gestured for Em to join me, she did so, looking slightly confused.

 

“What do you guys think about me and Em getting together?” I said, coming right out with it.

 

“As in a couple?” Zayn raised his eyebrows.

 

“You guys would get in a shit load of trouble if someone found out…” Liam added.

 

“We would be careful.” I groaned, already getting angry.

 

“But you know what the media’s like. They’d twist it loads.” Zayn continued.

“Yeah, and it would get us all in shit most probably. Em is our tour manager after all. She would lose her job too.” Liam sighed, raising his eyebrows.

 

“I thought you guys would support us.” I growled.

 

“We do support you, man! But this is just something that is too risky.” Zayn stared me down as he spoke.

 

“Simon would be fuming.” Liam mumbled.

 

“None of you understand!” I shouted. I stormed off once again, right to the end of the bus so I couldn’t even hear what other conversations were going on.

 

Emily’s POV:

 

Everyone jumped as Harry slammed the door. I didn’t falter my stare from the floor as the awkwardness grew around us. I could see them shuffle their feet in my peripheral vision. I thought they would give us a chance. I really did. I knew they were probably helping us, doing the right thing, but I felt let down.

 

Liam edged forward and stood in front of me. I still didn’t look up at him. He put his hand on my shoulder but I quickly shook it off.

 

“Em…” He mumbled.

 

“What?” I spat as I looked up at him. He looked slightly taken aback.

 

“We’re sorry, we’re just trying to protect you.” He furrowed his brows at my reaction.

 

“Maybe, just this once, I didn’t want to be protected.” I shook my head and walked away. I grabbed my iPad and headphones off the side and ignored them all as I buried myself in the sofa. I hadn’t really realised how much of a flaw the close proximity of a tour bus was. I didn’t want to disturb Harry, but there was no where else to go. I quickly put in my headphones and turned my back to them all. I was probably being childish, but I didn’t even care right now.

 

I knew that what I wanted right now was to be with Harry. I knew we were stupid and naïve thinking that it would work, thinking that people would even let it happen, but I was devastated. How did I know he wouldn’t go off me by the end of the tour? Why hadn’t they have just let us try this, Harry might have gotten sick of me anyway. So many unanswerable questions swam around in my mind.

 

Me and Harry could probably steal a moment together now and then, but I knew, no matter how he felt for me, he wouldn’t want to be disloyal to the boys. Neither did I. We agreed that their opinions, when it came to them finding out, mattered a lot. I guess I should’ve been expecting this, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept.

 

I busied myself with checking emails, the schedule and venting to my increased followers. I had to be careful as most of them were 1D fans, but I doubt that any of them suspected a relationship with the boys. Besides, it was still my twitter and I will always write what I want on there, no matter who follows me.

 

I opened my mentions and started replying to the people who had tweeted back. Many of them were asking what was wrong, I brushed them off with don’t worries, and the other half were asking about the boys. I did want to tweet the fans as I appreciated how badly some of them wanted to meet them and stuff. I gave away as much information as I could without breaking any rules and what not. A tweet from Liam caught my eye. I selected it so it wouldn’t be pushed down the list.

 

‘Hope @thoughtsofemily dont stay mad at us for to long ): Luv ya Em x’

 

I rolled my eyes, no matter how cute it was, I wanted them to know how pissed off I was. That certainly wouldn’t be getting an acknowledgement or reply at any time soon. I decided to look at Harry’s twitter for a while, just to pass the time. It turns out he was online too, doing the same as me, replying to fans and venting. I read what some of his replies were and smiled at subtle mentions of me. My eyes froze as I stopped on one tweet. That twitter name was all too familiar.

 

What the fuck was he doing tweeting Mel?

 

I read the conversation as it was a long line of replies. There was definitely a lot of flirting going on in there. What the fuck? Doesn’t he realise how much of a bitch she is yet? I thought she was my best friend, but I managed to realise pretty quickly. I couldn’t believe him! I wouldn’t say anything though; I would sit this out and see if it gets worse. I bet she’s DMing him too. I couldn’t believe that.

 

I quickly went off his page and back to what I was doing to try and take my mind off it. I didn’t mind when he flirted with fans or whoever, but Mel. The girl who had bullshitted both of us and tried to turn us against each other. What an asshole. Who the fuck did he think he was anyway? Mel! All the people in the world, and he chooses her! I jumped as I was tapped on the shoulder. I turned around and yanked my headphones out.

 

“WHAT?!” I shouted. Niall took a step back and held his hands up.

 

“We’re here.” He said quietly. I didn’t acknowledge him as I packed my stuff into my bag and started hauling everything towards the hotel. I slammed my bag down on the reception desk and the receptionist almost jumped out of her skin.

 

“Can I help you, madam?” She asked warily. I slid over the booking details and waited for her to hand back the keys. She hurried under my wild stare and had them all handed over to me just as the boys were coming up to me. Harry had his sunglasses on and looked just as angry as me. I was sharing with Liam this time, great. I handed one to Harry and Zayn and the other to Louis and Niall. None of them questioned it as we made our way to the elevator.

 

I slammed on the button and stampeded into the elevator as soon as the doors opened. I gestured for the boys to go in first, mainly because I wanted to be at the front to make a hasty escape and they all did so silently. I slid in and pressed the correct button in similar silence as the doors closed and the elevator came to life. I was still seriously pissed off at them all, and I hoped they could tell.

 

I was out of the elevator as soon as it opened and scanning the key through the door as Liam warily followed. As soon as I was in the room I dumped my stuff down. I opened up my case and began looking for some different clothes to put on. I stormed past Liam, who daren’t make eye contact and slammed the bathroom door behind me. I let out a deep breath as soon as the door was locked.

 

Finally, the anger subsided and the real emotions washed over me. Tears began to roll down my face uncontrollably, no matter how much I wiped them away. I put my hand over my mouth to try and stifle the sobs, but an ugly noise would escape through my fingers every now and then. Why was I so shit at this? I slid down the door and did nothing to stop myself from crying so much.

 

Tears seemed to be a regular thing in my life now. Maybe I just wasn’t meant to be in a healthy relationship. Maybe I just wasn’t mean to fall in love. Maybe Harry was too good for me. Maybe Harry preferred someone like, Mel. Maybe I wasn’t ready for this job. Maybe I was a stubborn bitch who just couldn’t handle the dilemmas faced in dating a colleague, who also happened to be a fucking celebrity. Maybe this really was for the best.

 

I sniffed once my sobs finally started to subside and pulled myself up off the floor. Large, ugly, black streaks obstructed the pale skin of my cheeks. I opened my toiletry bag that I’d luckily grabbed and snatched a make up wipe. Once all of my make up was gone, I brushed my teeth and decided to take advantage of the large bath. I stripped off my clothes while I waited for it to fill up and watched the bathroom steam up.

 

Once the bath had filled up, I slid into it and let the heat penetrate every pore in my body. Like any good bath, it definitely washed away some of the nastiness I was feeling. I didn’t feel particularly refreshed after soaking for half an hour or so, but I felt a little better. I stepped out and grabbed one of the huge towels. Once I’d patted myself dry I picked up my jack wills pyjama bottoms and an oversized t-shirt with Elmo on it. I pulled them both on, moisturised my face and pulled my hair up into a messy bun.

 

I braced myself before stepping out of the bathroom, but Liam wasn’t in the room anyway. I moved over to the bed that had obviously been left for me as the other had Liam’s stuff on already. I noticed a small bit of paper and picked it up.

 

‘I guessed you probably didn’t want to see me at the moment, I’m over at Louis and Niall’s room. You can come and get me if you like, but I’ll just stay here for the night if you don’t. I’m really sorry, Em. Love you loads, Liam xxx’

 

I groaned at how nice they all were. It would make it so much easier if they were just dicks to me all the time. Who was I kidding? I loved those boys, they made this job a dream and I was often a complete bitch to them. I knew they had only done this to protect me and I had to appreciate that. I had to fucking apologise too. I crossed over to my case once again I froze as I looked what was on top.

 

I pulled out Zayn’s hoodie I’d taken ownership of and sighed. I definitely had to apologise. I rooted around for my slippers and pulled them on before heading over to the door. I opened it as silently as I could and shut it behind me with nothing but a small click. I moved to the room next door, knowing it was Louis and Niall’s. I stared at the door for a second before swallowing the lump in my throat and tapping on the door.

 

There were some muffled footsteps before the door was opened. Niall grinned at me, despite everything that had happened and stepped aside for me to come in. Louis and Liam both stopped what they were doing and looked down as I came into view. I sighed and crossed over to where they were, plonking myself on the bed next to Liam.

 

“I’m sorry guys. I’ve been such a bitch and you don’t even deserve it. You’re amazing to me and I know you really were trying to do the best for us.” I said quietly.

 

“Finally come to your senses. We’ve been amazing all along.” Louis winked at me and reached over for a hug. “We love you, Em.” He grinned and sunk back onto the bed opposite. I giggled and Liam put his arm round me in a sideways hug.

 

“Have you spoken to Harry?” Liam asked.

 

“Not yet, I imagine he’s pretty pissed.” I sighed.

 

“Poor Zayn is probably getting the wrath of it.” Niall laughed as he threw himself down next to Louis on the bed opposite.

 

“I’ll probably go over soon, I just wanted to come and see you guys first.” I sighed again. “And tell Liam he can come back in our room without being mauled.” I chuckled and nudged him in the ribs. He chuckled too.

 

“I wasn’t too keen on having to share a bed with one of these two.” He admitted. I giggled and looked around them all, they all grinned in response.

 

“Thanks guys.” I said again.

 

“You don’t have to thank us.” Niall shrugged.

 

“Sorry.” I bit my lip.

 

“Or apologise.” Louis laughed. I giggled again and stood up.

 

“Well, I’m gonna go and see Zayn and Harry.” I slapped my thighs before standing up. They all nodded. I motioned for them to stand up and give me a group hug. They all grinned and did so. I chuckled and made my way to the door, leaving with a wave.

 

I shut the door behind me and took the few steps towards the next room along. I didn’t really know what I needed to say to Harry, but we needed to talk. That much was clear. I sighed. I had a feeling of butterflies I had when ever I talked to Harry. It was different this time now, maybe because I knew what the result was. I knocked a couple of times on the door.

 

“It’s open.” Two voices replied. I opened the door and true to their word, it clicked open. I stepped inside and shut it behind me before stepping into the room. It wasn’t as awkward as I’d been expecting but there was a certain atmosphere that made me nervous.

 

“Hey Em, how you doing?” Zayn asked gently.

 

“Hey, I’m ok now. I brought your hoodie back.” I slid onto the bed next to him and held his hoodie out for him.

 

“You can keep it Em.” He chuckled. “It’s basically yours now anyway.” He winked.

 

“Why don’t we share it?” I laughed. He nodded.

 

“I came to say sorry too, I’m gonna work on not being such a bitch.” I chuckled.

 

“You don’t have to apologise…” He stood up and shook his head at me before taking me into a hug and squeezing me slightly.

 

“No, I did.” I smiled when he released me.

 

“If you say so.” He chuckled. He looked at Harry who was simply staring at the floor before looking at me again. “Well I’m gonna pop over to talk to Liam a second.” He said in an attempt to be sly. I nodded and watched as he left the room, punctuating his departure with the sound of the door slamming behind him.

 

When I turned around again, Harry had stood up silently. He was looking at me. He looked tired and stressed. His hair was ruffled where he’d been running his hands through it so much and the skin around his eyes was red where he’d been rubbing it. His and Louis’ rabble had left Harry’s cheek a light shade of purple. I felt so awful seeing him like that. I quickly crossed the room and without hesitation he took me into his arms. I breathed in his scent that I’d grown to adore. He ran his hands up my sides and tangled them in my hair.

 

“I’m so sorry, Harry.” I whimpered.

 

“Don’t be.” He replied simply. When he released me I ran my finger across the deepening bruise on his cheek. He winced slightly.

 

“You should get an ice pack on that before it swells too much.” I commented. I detached myself from him and went over to the mini fridge. The tiny freezer compartment had ice in it, so I wrapped some in a small towel and handed it to Harry. He pressed it to his cheek obediently and sat back down on the bed. I sat next to him.

 

“You know we have to listen to them. Neither of us can do it behind their backs.”  I said quietly. Harry nodded and gulped.

 

“I know.” He sighed. “But we could maybe, if you want to, try again at the end of the tour?” He looked up and his green eyes looked slightly worried as he probed my reaction.

 

“Definitely. Although, some things might have changed by then. I think we need to be prepared for that.” I nodded back to him. He sighed again, dragging it out.

 

“Yeah, I know.” He ruffled his hair and rubbed the back of his neck, something he did when he was irritable and stressed. Another of his habits I found adorable. “You mean a lot to me Em, I just hope you can wait for me. I don’t expect you to.” He turned to face me and removed the ice pack from his face.

 

“If waiting is what I have to do for us to be together, then I will sit it out and wait.” I whispered, Harry took my cheek in his hand and ran the pad of his thumb just under my eye.

 

“Thank you.” He smiled and reached forward, placing one sweet, tender kiss on my lips.

 

“But for now, we have to respect the boys, and just be friends, as hard as that will be for both of us.” I nodded and leant my head against his shoulder. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he withdrew it, he whipped it out of my gaze before I could see who it was from.

 

“Who’s that?” I asked curiously.

 

“Uh, just Lou.” He smiled and slipped his phone back into his pocket. I shrugged.

 

“I’m gonna go back to the room. We’ll go get food at 5 and then the bus will pick us up so be ready.” I stood up and poked his cheek before crossing the room. He nodded and smiled, waving as I departed. I shut the door behind me and let myself back into my room. Liam was in there, tapping away on his laptop. I decided to have an hour nap before I had to get ready. I’d calmed down now and accepted what needed to be done between me and Harry. I would just have to be patient.